What to write in a wedding card
Congratulate them both, say one thing you’ve seen in them together, and wish them something specific. If you can’t be there on the day, it matters even more.
A wedding card gets read on the morning after, with a cup of tea, by two people who are still a bit giddy. Most of them say “Congratulations on your special day” and nothing else. Yours can do better with three short sentences.
Who to write it to
Both of them, by first name if you know them: “To Sam and Alex”. If you only know one of them, still name both, and put the one you know first. For a more formal card, “To the happy couple” or both full names is fine.
The shape of a good wedding message
- Congratulate them both. Not just your friend: the two of them.
- Say one thing you’ve seen in them together. How they are with each other, a moment you were there for.
- Wish them something specific. Better than “a lifetime of happiness”: the house, the adventures, more nights like this one.
Congratulations, Sam and Alex. I’ve never seen anyone make Sam laugh the way you do, Alex. Here’s to a lifetime of terrible puns and very good holidays.
For close friends
I knew the night you met. You talked to each other for four hours and forgot the rest of us existed. Congratulations, you two. I’m so happy for you.
To Priya and Tom. Thank you for letting us be part of today. Watching you two is a reminder of what it’s supposed to look like. All our love, now and always.
For family
To my little sister and my new brother. I’ve watched you grow up, and today I watched you choose the best person you could have chosen. Welcome to the family, Dan. You have no idea what you’ve let yourself in for.
To our son and our new daughter. Seeing you two today was everything we hoped for. Look after each other. We love you both.
For a colleague, or someone you don’t know well
Short is right. Every one of these is complete on its own.
Congratulations to you both. Wishing you a wonderful day and a very happy life together.
Congratulations on your wedding! Enjoy every minute, and enjoy the honeymoon even more.
Wishing you both all the happiness in the world. Congratulations from all of us on the team.
Funny lines that land
Funny works when it’s affectionate. Tease the marriage, not the bride or groom, and leave out exes, how long it took, and anything their grandparents would need explaining.
Congratulations on finding the one person who’ll laugh at all your jokes. Please don’t let them find out about the rest of us.
Remember: you’re a team now. That means you can finally win at Monopoly. Congratulations, you two.
Love is sharing your last chip. Marriage is pretending you didn’t want it. Congratulations!
With money or a gift
Mention it lightly, and never the amount. A line about what it’s for makes it feel like a present rather than a transaction.
A little something towards the honeymoon. Have a cocktail on us, somewhere with a view. Congratulations!
For the house fund, with all our love. We expect a guided tour of the new place.
If you can’t be there
Say you’re sorry to miss it, without the reason at length, then tell them what you’ll be doing at the time. A card that arrives after the day is fine; a message they open on the day is better.
I’m so sorry I can’t be with you today. At three o’clock I’ll be raising a glass from four thousand miles away, and probably crying into it. I love you both. Have the best day.
This is where an envelope earns its keep. Seal it until the moment the speeches start, or the morning after, so it opens then. Add a film of you saying it, and the couple, or the best man, can play it to the room. They’ll hear your voice on the day, and keep it after.
How to sign off
- Close friends and family: All our love · With so much love · Love you both
- Friends and colleagues: With love and best wishes · Warmest congratulations
- Formal: With every good wish for your future together
A letter for the day itself
If you’re the one getting married, a short letter to the person you’re marrying, opened on the morning, before the ceremony, is one of the most kept things there is. Say what you’re thinking that morning, what you remember, and what you’re about to promise.
In a few hours I get to marry you. I’m nervous about the speech and not at all about you. See you at the end of the aisle. I’ll be the one grinning.
Questions people ask
What do you write in a wedding card with money?
Congratulate them first, then mention the gift lightly, and never the amount: “A little something towards the honeymoon. Have a cocktail on us.”
Who do you address a wedding card to?
Both of them, by first name if you know them: “To Sam and Alex”. If you only know one, still name both, and put the one you know first.
What do you write if you can’t go to the wedding?
Say how sorry you are to miss it, without the reason at length, then say what you’ll be doing at the time: “I’ll be raising a glass at three o’clock.” A short film of you saying it means a lot on the day.
Not sending one today?
We’ll remind you before Diwali and Christmas: a few emails a year, a week or so before the days people send envelopes for. Nothing else, and one click stops them.
