What to write in an anniversary card
Not how long it’s been, but what it’s been like. One real memory from this year says more than any line about forever.
An anniversary card has one job: to tell someone that the years with them have been good, in a way they believe. “Happy anniversary, here’s to many more” doesn’t quite manage it. One small memory from this year usually does.
What to say
Three things, in any order.
- A moment from this year. Not the wedding, not how you met. Something from the last twelve months that you’d choose to keep.
- Something you notice about them. A habit, a kindness, a thing they do that you’ve never mentioned.
- What you’re looking forward to. Specific is better than forever: the trip, the house, getting the garden back.
Happy anniversary. My favourite day this year was the Sunday we did absolutely nothing and it was perfect. I’d choose you for every Sunday. Can’t wait for Lisbon.
For your husband, wife or partner
Write it like you talk to them, not like a card. In-jokes are welcome; nobody else is reading.
Seven years, and you still steal the duvet, still sing in the car, and still make me laugh harder than anyone. Happy anniversary, my love.
I noticed you’ve started bringing me tea before I ask. I haven’t said anything in case you stop. Happy anniversary. I love you more than I say.
Happy anniversary to my favourite teammate. This year threw a lot at us, and there’s nobody I’d rather have stood next to. Here’s to an easier one.
The first year
The traditional gift for a first anniversary is paper, which makes a letter the obvious present. It’s worth writing a proper one: you’ll want to read it again on the tenth.
One year married. I still look at the ring sometimes when you’re not watching. It turns out being your husband is my favourite thing I’ve ever been. Happy paper anniversary.
For your parents, or grandparents
Congratulate them on the number, then thank them for something specific their marriage gave you. For a ruby, golden or diamond anniversary, a few photos from across the years go down very well.
Happy fortieth anniversary, Mum and Dad. Forty years of arguing over the map and dancing in the kitchen. You showed us what it looks like, and we noticed.
Happy golden anniversary, Nan and Grandad. Fifty years! Thank you for the Sunday dinners, the caravan holidays and for always holding hands in the car park.
For friends
Happy anniversary, you two. Ten years on and you’re still the couple everyone secretly measures themselves against. No pressure.
Happy anniversary, Lou and Dev. Thanks for being the people we call first, for everything. Here’s to many more nights round your table.
Funny, if that’s the two of you
Tease the marriage, never the person, and end on something warm.
Happy anniversary to the only person who would put up with me. Truly, I checked. Love you.
Five years, and you still haven’t found out about the second biscuit tin. Happy anniversary. I love you, and the biscuits.
The names of the years
If you want to theme a gift, or a letter, these are the traditional ones. The years in between vary from list to list.
- 1st: paper · 2nd: cotton · 3rd: leather · 5th: wood
- 10th: tin · 15th: crystal · 20th: china · 25th: silver
- 30th: pearl · 40th: ruby · 50th: gold · 60th: diamond
How to sign off
- For your partner: Yours, always · All my love · Forever yours, duvet thief
- For parents and grandparents: With all our love · Love from all of us
- For friends: Lots of love · With love from us both
When you’re apart
Plenty of anniversaries happen in different time zones: a work trip, a deployment, a long-distance year. Seal the letter until the hour you got married, or the moment you met, so it opens then wherever they are. Add the photo from the day, and a film of you saying it, so they hear your voice. If you’re apart for longer, a set of open-when letters, one for the anniversary and others for the hard nights, gets them through to the reunion.
It’s three o’clock, the exact minute we said yes, eight years ago. I’m four thousand miles away and I’m still saying it. Happy anniversary. Nineteen days to go.
Questions people ask
What do I write in an anniversary card for my husband or wife?
Something only the two of you would understand: a moment from this year, a thing they do that you’ve never told them you notice, and what you’re looking forward to. Then sign it the way you always do.
What do you write in an anniversary card for your parents?
Congratulate them on the number, then thank them for something specific their marriage gave you: the kitchen dancing, the arguments over the map, the way they still hold hands.
What are the traditional gifts for each anniversary?
Paper for the first, cotton for the second, leather for the third, wood for the fifth, tin for the tenth, crystal for the fifteenth, china for the twentieth, silver for the twenty-fifth, pearl for the thirtieth, ruby for the fortieth, gold for the fiftieth and diamond for the sixtieth.
Not sending one today?
We’ll remind you before Diwali and Christmas: a few emails a year, a week or so before the days people send envelopes for. Nothing else, and one click stops them.
